Non-Jews are for practice
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
