White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
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