and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
