Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
