birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
