i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
