Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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