I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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