It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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