we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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