You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
