I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
