i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
