I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
