I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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