Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
