was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
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