So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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