Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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