operation harelip BJ is a go
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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