apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
