I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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