It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
