Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
