So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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