Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
