I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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