I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
