is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
