Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
