Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
