Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
