yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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