I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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