I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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