and you said cock pushups were impossible
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize