it's too hot outside to masturbate.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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