It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
