Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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