maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize