Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
