Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
