Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
