On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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