I got her a Nickelback box set.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
