woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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