It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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