Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
