I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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