Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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