my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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