i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
