Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
