I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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