I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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