Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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