I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
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our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
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The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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