At least make sure they are 18
Why
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
