Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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