He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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