she was so not down for the gang bang
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
