this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
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